In romantic relationships I have gotten involved and then performed engagement, assessment, recovery, CPR, and eulogy. This is a lot of work.  This work it is not necessary in the beginning of a healthy relationship.  But maybe you are the person who chooses labor or “the challenge” when prognosis is poor at best   Healthy relationships do not require lifesaving interventions early on.  The quicker a relationship needs CPR the sooner the prognosis tends towards terminal. 

I have spent too much of my life trying to breathe life into relationships that were not good for me. Every time I was able to bring life to a faltering relationship it ended badly.  It has taken years and one healthy relationship for me to know that relationships in the beginning that require a lot of work are like buying half dead plants and hoping that with TLC they will grow and bloom.   Sometimes they grow and bloom and sometimes they die.  I have decided to save gambling for the Lottery and not relationships.  I want a romantic relationship with a person who is dedicated to being the best version of themselves possible, a healthy growing plant in bloom.  “Not a perfect person but the perfect person for me”, according to my friend, Sean McClure.  But you may want someone you can mold into the perfect person for you.  I do not recommend attempting to mold anyone that is an adult.  It ends badly.

I have some experience with trying to ride an already dead horse.  This is a topic for another day.

I have spent a lot of time in relationships that were over or not the kind of relationship I wanted waiting to see if my instincts were guiding me in the right direction.  Now I trust my instincts more quickly and dismount the dead horse in a timelier fashion.  I even make it a practice to call “time of death”.

In love and Light,

Debbie

“If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.”; Father Joseph Martin

For more on this practice, save the date: https://www.debrajhackett.com/authenticity  

American Indian Tribal saying: When the Horse is Dead, Dismount